A quote from Mark Twain

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from safe barbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover
- Mark Twain

This is one of my favorite quotes of all time and a philopshy I live by, especially in the recent development of my life. Since I completed my MA last April, I am slowly spiraling in a rut. I lost direction in my life and things are happening very slow for me - very different from my MA days. Sometimes, I feel very unhappy but since I am such an optimistic and positive person, I carry a happy-go-lucky attitude and keep trodding along, hoping my efforts will come thru and my dream will turn to reality - to see the world...not just to visit but to learn and live the life and culture of that country.

After my MA, the first thing I wanted to fix was my job. It was the source of my biggest misery. I used to love my job but so many things have changed - my boss, my responsibilities, my learning curve that I feel very unchallenged. Plus I've been on it for just about 4 years now so it's quite overdued from moving on (I have only planned on doing it for 2 years but then I needed some stability while I was doing my MA). I had one interview at UCSB for a Public Events Manager. It would've been a promotion and something I know I'll be good at. The interview went well but apparently, I didn't have the breath and depth of the person they hired. That was a real set back for me because I thought I found the perfect match and I wanted that job so badly. So I went on job hunting hiatus for a while until I realized that I really should fulfil my long-time dream of working abroad. However, I couldn't decided where - China, Middle East (good $$$), Japan, Spain, France, England?

In December, I saw an ad on Craigslist for teaching in Japan with AEON. Just a month or so earlier, an old acquaintance (friend of a friend, a boy (well, man) I kissed once! ha ha!) sent me an email about his work in Japan and is working for the same company. Whether this is a coincidence or not, it was serendipitous to me and I took it as a sign. I started to recognize that my love for Japan goes beyond sushi and that I have a long-time fascination with that country and its culture since like 7 or 8! So, I applied, went on a couple of rounds of interviews, and was offered a job. However, they couldn't place me because they didn't have any opening for the month I wanted to leave so I have been waiting. And waiting until now. With this bad economy, things have really slowed down and the recruiters told me they just don't have anything for now.

In the last month, I applied for one other job in Japan with no luck. Then my old boss suggested that I send my resume to his contact in China. I haven't done it yet because everytime I am in China, I would say to myself that it's only vacation and I will go home eventually. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy learning about China (I did major in Asian Studies with an emphasis in China) but I don't have the same love for it as I do for Japan. But maybe my destiny is telling me to go there.

Anyway, reading the quote from Mark Twain today told me I shouldn't give up and to keep trying to pursue my dream. Plus writing this blog is a bit of therapy for me after I hear more disappointing news about Japan.

Oh well, TGIF!