Bye bye 2011. That was really fast! (Part 1)

2011 went by really fast for me. I have a bag full of mixed feelings because there seems to be lots of goods, but then it is easy to remember the bads as well. But in the larger picture of things, I have a lot to be grateful for. Perhaps it was because I couldn't get all that I had wanted, but in a bit of hindsight (and writing in Hong Kong, away from the land itself, I could get a better view), I got what I need.

Perhaps the biggest gain I have gotten this year had to do with my professional development. As I completed my full term of year two in Japan, it had become more and more apparent that I want to gain as much professional experiences as I possibly could. After I quit my stable, big-corp language school teaching job, things fell together for me to freelance in Fukuoka. With decent reputation, lots of hard work, a bit of luck, and some very fortunate connections, I have accessed to small to major companies in Fukuoka and Japan. I worked with some very smart, successful professionals that are beyond my imagination, and most of all, I was able to adapt myself to work and help a wide range of people. In the past 5 months of basically running my own business, I received some success but I can't help but to think if I have the smarts and endurance to maintain it. I have grown to really respect and admire those who have built their own schools and businesses, especially being foreigners in Japan. I have been very lucky to have been advised and gotten help from some of them too.

Upon graduating my second year in Japan, you would think things would be easy. Quite the contrary, the challenges continue as I penetrate deeper in the society and culture. In some ways, it has gotten easier, sometimes almost mundane in the routine of life. But it seems to more I can understand, the more I am still navigating. This could be why I am still fascinated with this country, and maybe why so many foreigners stay even if it means riding more and more of their the lifestyle they once had outside of Japan. In my first year, I had viewed this as a challenge in adapting myself to different situations and cultures and then fitting in. But now, I could lose my patience a little and feel my frustration in things that are beyond me. This has also become more prominent in my freelance work because I am mostly navigating on my own through the multifaceted Japanese corporate and social cultures. Consequently, I have to deal with an absence of commiseration as I found myself with no real co-workers.

Luckily, the many friends I have made here have been keeping me going. I have made many friends this year, much more than I have ever expected. At the beginning of the year, I thought 2010 would be a quiet year for me where I would have turned to polishing my Japanese, focusing on the interests I have not yet experienced. Instead, I have been going out more. But through that, I have been building my network in Fukuoka. At the same time, I felt I have stretched myself a bit thin. Not only I didn't get to tune in my focus and interests more, I couldn't give more time to develop deeper friendships. I am not sure if it was because of this or the way Japanese had innately grown to impermanence that I found myself losing some very close friends of mine this year. 2 major things I observed - first, this has not only been with Japanese people, but with foreigners I have met here as well which makes me wonder if the social culture subconsciousness influence the flow of life. Second, the harder I try, the more I fail to establish anything significant which is completely bipolar to the "ganbatte" (do your best) spirit. I found that friendship in Japan is a delicate matter and it got me to understand some representation of "mono no aware (物の哀れ, rite of pathos)".