I didn't use to really understand why some people would get so easily disappointed by other people's action. I know some follow with consequences but I was naive to think that one should not care so much if it doesn't have a direct affect on them or if you are not the victim. I guess over time, as I matured and evolved as an adult, I became more self-aware and I noticed that these behaviors caused by others shaped how I think.
Tonight, I was disappointed by an action of a friend. Though the action has no direct affect on me, I questioned the integrity of the person. To be fair, I know I have also disappointed people with my actions so I am in no position to pass judgment. In fact, I am questioning of whether I can stay neutral or choose not say anything about it (to the friend) because the bottom line is that it does not affect me directly. But again, I am disappointed. I want to know what caused this person to do it. I want to know the truth. Most of all, I want to know how I can change it.
As I become more and more single these days, I realized I have only myself to look after first and foremost. I am writing this to remind myself that I should be careful of whom I let in my life but also keep an open mind to allow positivity and various influences to flow through. I don't want to be judgmental and I don't want to take life too seriously but at the same time, I want to treat things that matter with respect and integrity. Today, I learned that you can be disappointed in others but I don't think it is up to me to pass judgment but only as a lesson to become aware of the complexity and vulnerability of human relationships.
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